The Art of Gifting

The simple thought behind giving someone a gift, other than expressing some kind of feeling, is the desire to receive something in return. That is how humans are wired. Come festive season, or wedding season, the whole process of gifting which involves thinking, making an effort to buy and finally gifting goes into full swing.

An interesting article by Niranjan Rajadhyaksha, executive editor of Mint, embarked on information asymmetry, that is a skewed information between the gifter and the receiver, making the whole process complex. He cites the example of a child who would say upfront what she needs and thus making gifting easier whereas in case of an adult lack of communication makes the process of gifting tricky.

I have thus tried to make a matrix to categorize gifts into four groups based on its quality when seen with reference to information asymmetry. Here the quality of gift is as perceived by the receiver.

Category 1: Poorly informed & Good quality: When one is not aware of the like and dislike but is ready to spend a big sum, any safe gift which is costly is appealing. Occurs usually when subordinates plan to gift new bosses.
The receiver acts on the need. If it is not required, and given the quality it actually then gets passed on to close relatives and friends.

Category 2: Well informed & Good quality: Those are the cherished gifts. Those are ones which one keeps. The relationship booster kind of gifts. Its just ideal.

Category 3: Well informed & Poor quality:  Despite knowing the choice of the receiver one choosing a sub optimal gift is a signal of reluctance. One then is perhaps acting out of compulsion. The multitude of office colleagues, whom one doesn't share great relation with yet is bound by official good conduct fall in this category.
The receiver searches for people to pass it on to. Most often, the house help are the victims.

Category 4: Poorly informed & Poor quality: I call them the Soan Papdi gifter. Not knowing what to gift and not trying to think much about it leads to such a situation.
These are quickly abandoned by the receiver.

It is difficult to give an ideal gift for there exists information asymmetry. Studies have shown that millions of dollars in US are spent on giving gifts that are not appreciated by the receiver, The situation is definitely similar in India. A little effort to think about what to gift, and to be more pragmatic in gifting would go a long way in the art of gifting. 

3 X 3 things on 1st Constitution Day

 

The 1st Constitution Day is being celebrated today on 26th November, 2015. It is, like a few official mails would want me to believe, not the birth anniversary of Dr B R Ambedkar. Ambedkar was born on April 14. The Constitution was adopted on this day in 1949. It is a welcome step to to celebrate Constitution Day, regardless of the times we live in, for in the Constitution lies the leveler, the law, the script of destiny that was bequeathed upon the people of India.

3 sets of 3 things each that i wish to make a mention on this day are:
1. Three issues that framers of Constitution had on their mind
2. Three warnings of Dr B R Ambedkar vis a vis democracy in India
3. Three to-do things for

Three issues:
It is imperative to understand the throes the newly formed country was in to understand what has gone into the thick book of Indian constitution.
i) National unity was foremost in the minds of the drafting committee for India strictly was many nations in a nation. Nationality could not be defined in absolute terms, or as the West used to define it. It was necessary thus to embark on ideals that would hold the vast country together.
ii) Social uplift: India in 1947 was a poor country with high rates of illiteracy, poverty, destitution and mired in social evils. The constitution took it upon the state to address these issues. There lay a fundamental difference between American and Indian Constitution. More on that later.
iii) Foreign Policy: It was an important matter for the framers to view India, the newly formed country in the global picture. A lot of statutes thus dealt with this future worldview.

Three warnings:
In the now famous 'grammar of anarchy' speech, Dr Ambedkar had three warnings for independent India which could undermine democracy. These warnings hold good to this day.
i) Undemocratic ways of achieving social and economic objectives. He said bloody ways of revolution was no way to achieve such objectives. However the anarchy has continued unabated in independent India.
ii) Political bhakti: He warned against hero-worship in politics which he said could lead to dictatorship. Indian political history and present is replete with such instances.
iii) Social democracy: Dr Ambedkar stressed on the trinity of liberalism, equality and fraternity as necessary for social democracy which in turn is a bedrock for political democracy. Each component is incomplete without others. Though a work in progress, India has seen lack of components of the trinity.

Three to-do things:
i) Civics books at school introduce the young to Indian Constitution but only superficially. The engagement needs to continue irrespective of choice of vocation into adulthood.
ii) Neutral forums must be created, or sought where debate on provisions of constitution could be held. For the Constitution was not made binding to every generation. That would be sign of a healthy civil society which can let its concerns made known to the powers that be.
iii) Equally important is to hold to the letters the institutions that the Constitution has given. Only then would the Idea of India be healthy for all.

Happy 1st Constitution Day!

A B(ri)eef Story

I have narrated this story umpteen number of times, but had never penned it.
The predominant debate in the country these days, makes me write it.
Thirteen years back, in the July of 2002, few boys from different parts of the country converged on the 'cosmopolitan', as it was liked to be called then, Bangalore. The purpose was higher education, graduation.
Where is beef in the story?
Hold your horses...
So after the mandatory orientation, lasting a few days and several events, the college decided to take the 'new kids' out into the city so that they could buy books! or anything else, or whatever.
So a big bus landed one fine Sunday at the hostel door and packed teenagers, bubbling with enthusiasm, dressed in their best, apprehensive.
The bus dropped us at 'State Bank of Mysore'.
Those familiar with Bangalore will understand, for others, its just another place where the market is sub standard, the traffic is busy, the locality unclean.
but yeah, books, there adjoining is Avenue Road, where one gets new and second hand books. or that is what we had been told.
So, we alighted at SBM and were led to the 'sub standard' market by a guy from Asansol who wanted to buy 'Gucci' jeans.
That is an interesting story, but more on that later.
So after an hour the big group, as expected now, unexpected then, dispersed into smaller groups.
My group consisted of just two people, so we cannot exactly call it a group.
Those were the days of initial forging of friendships and the one with me, Bijay, was a foodie.
Wandering the streets for a while we felt hungry and started walking down Avenue Road in search of some good food.
Good here would indicate non-vegetarian.
A little digression before we go to the meaty part of the story.
I belong to a Brahmin family in the eastern state (yes there is an east too, India is not North and South and North-East) of Odisha and Odia Brahmins do consume non vegetarian food, and quite voraciously I might add.
Ok so back to the story.
After searching for quite some time, hunger level rising like a tide, we saw some delicious cooking happening in a small hotel on the left hand side of the road.
Happy to have found a place, Bijay and me walked in.
While walking into the sitting area, we could see some meat being fried on a big hot plate, some barbeque kind of thing happening and it all was salivating to look at.
We sat at the table and saw people around us consuming what we could clearly guess as Biriyani.
Next what happened was baffling.
The uninterested waiter arrived a minute later.
We ordered two Chicken Biriyanis.
The waiter left without writing a thing on his notebook. He did not even acknowledge the order.
Both of us were confused.
Did he not understand Hindi or what was the matter we thought for a while.
And then couple of guys in the table beside explained to us the matter.
very politely they told us 'Actually here you don't get chicken, only beef'
We could not believe our ears. None of us had been to any restaurant in Odisha, and we had to many between both of us, which served beef.
We reconfirmed with the good samaritans. No chicken, only beef it was.
In no time did we dash out of the hotel, viewing that what looked delicious few moment back in utter disdain.
So what if the waiter would have just brought the Biriyani? What if the fellow eaters would not bother to tell us?
And why the disdain?
That answer is easy. We have been conditioned to see beef as something that is holy and not to be consumed. Plus the conditioning that it is consumed by a certain section of society who are 'different' 'inferior' 'unholy' or other such attributes.
The conditioning is deep. Its quite not possible to shake it off. But then the conditioning, the acquiring, the choice is personal, absolutely personal.
There is another small story regarding beef and Bangalore.
Two Bengali guys, who happened to be our good friends and roommates during graduation, used to describe the  beef delicacies they regularly had in Calcutta.
Though few of us would squirm at the statement, chide with a 'chi, chi', it was adequately clear and now when i think back, very rightly so, that food is a personal choice.
Apart than the legality, the constitutionality of it, it is just a personal choice.
That was a brief story involving beef.
PS: As a biochemist I have my scientific take on meat as protein, its desired and undesired effect, but that's for another post.