And in the recent past...

When I don’t write for a long time, I feel a lot of events get missed, and are relegated to the past. And then the debate whether it is prudent to harp or let’s say write on the past. But the debate is won over by that one argument that reflection is a much necessary activity to keep things in perspective. And that it is one ability that we collectively are fast losing.

 

 

Regime change: A regime changed in India. Right of the centre took over the left of the centre. And did it emphatically. The beginning has been different and promising. The jubilation is in the air. Only time will tell if the great expectations of the 1.25 billion will be met by Narendra Modi. The chosen messiah has a tough task at hand. It is never easy to tread the path of power and especially in a country where demands are many. But firm resolve, integrity and accountability can make the powers that be take great strides. Positivity all around, isn’t it?

IPL 7: A tournament that keeps large number of Indians glued to their screens for over one and half months, a tournament that has been mired in shameful controversies in the past and a tournament that celebrates a marriage of glamour and cricket came to an end recently. The bowlers were thrashed wild and it requires introspection if we aren’t going to call cricket as baseball in a few years. The team languishing at the bottom of the table rose to win the title sending a very important message that it is hope that keeps us all driving and it should not be lost at times of adversity. Haven’t you looked up when is the next tournament?

 

Deputation: I got deputed to Kasturba Medical College, Manipal from Melaka Manipal Medical College (Manipal Campus) for a period of four and half months. Teaching in a different pattern of curriculum and its delivery was interesting. Adaptation did not take longer as biochemistry did not change, thankfully. The important thing and also a simple thing is that if the teacher has adequate level of interest, he or she will do his or her best. And sometimes that is what is seriously lacking. Theories, calculations, models, trainings are all meaningless if one lacks that essential interest. Are you thinking of the adage ‘those who can’t, teach’?

Surgery: My parents were in town, on their annual visit, and my father underwent two minor yet bothersome surgeries. It is never easy to see ones parent go through the trauma of recovery but that’s the way it is. Care with love is what one can provide and sometimes those little acts can heal more than the drugs. On another note, the medical bill was astounding, thankfully covered by medicare. But it caused me thinking for a very long time that would a poor common man afford such expenses. The cost of medicines is skyrocketing, the procedures unthinkable. Health needs to be the responsibility of the state, and it’s high time they do something about it. Are you perfectly fit, how long you think you will be so? 

 

Twitter: My activity and time spent on twitter has been increasing exponentially. And such is the trend all around I gather. I felt withdrawn from facebook. Suddenly it seems trivial, with some people posting their vacation pics, food pics, some candy crush requests, like-or-be-doomed messages etc. It’s not writing the obituary of FB yet, they have been keeping up with changes and will further make many, but twitter is by far the more mature version of social media (SM). SM is set to grow leaps and bounds, and we just need to choose what, if any, works best for us. Any of you still on Orkut though?

 

Media machinations: Though this little bit would require a separate post, a more detailed one, the summary could be conveyed I thought. If you care little about Indian media, the recent changes would intrigue you. Reliance spent a whopping 4000 crore to buy TV18. Nothing wrong with that, albeit the way people (I mean top editors etc.,) are getting shunted, shifting camps, boards reconstituted, and the impact of all these on freedom of media needs questioning. The fourth pillar cannot be compromised. Well are you already thinking about Arnab’s screaming?

RTA: Biochemists would call it renal tubular acidosis, but then one that is killing 1,50,000 people per year, is another RTA, Road Traffic Accident. It came into spotlight yet again as a union cabinet minister Mr Gopinath Munde succumbed to injuries following a visibly minor accident. If we are to climb that path of development, a holistic one and not just what the industrial output number says, we need to keep that spotlight on road safety. We hear stories, we become part of those stories and much of that is avoidable. Strict action can ensure a lot of safety, but it is awareness that needs to be inculcated and inculcated it has to be at an impressionable age in kids. But don’t we see parents with kid on lap, driving a car, while talking on phone?

Badaun: Much has been written on the rape and murder in Badaun, UP. Words don’t carry any meaning any more. Mothers and fathers in the beginning, later the schools; and then police and law enforcement, if act towards it, the heinous incidences stemming from perverse minds can be checked. We cannot let it happen to women. We should not.

There are a few things I remember off hand that could have been embarked upon. But the word count makes me think it would become arduous for a reader, so I better stop. And maybe avoid such long time gaps for issues to accumulate.

 

When To Let Someone Go?

 

When to let someone go?

Ideally never. A great source of our worries, our troubles, our sorrows, our deep hurt comes not from people unknown but from those that are dear to us. In fact it can never come from those unknown. Relatives, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, make life worthy of living adding tremendous joy to our being, but the same set of people can cause extreme pain, can be thorns in the otherwise velvety actuality. Though it remains the cornerstone of our existence that our life is meant to, or as some might say destined to, sway between good and bad times; the suffering inflicted by those we safely tag as our ‘own’, can move us, and in a negative manner, to great ends.

One common narrative is estrangement, suddenly or gradual, of friends. Most of us in our lives forge friendships, normal, mediocre, and great. Normal ones are passing, mediocre last for a while, occasionally flaring, and great ones last forever. Though there are many others that do not fall under these water tight compartments. Actually relations, emotions, feelings can never be strictly defined. Whichever category the friendship be, a great amount of stress caused due to the breaking of that friendship. Such an estrangement at any stage of our lives, as kids in school, as adults in college, or as older people puts us in a difficult situation.

Every other day spilled on social networks are narratives of hurt caused due to the sudden ‘change’ of a friend, the betrayal, the backstabbing, the cold shoulder, etc. Normally seen with teenagers or young adults who do not shy away from expressing their wound, such estrangement can be a source of great disturbance to them. Opinions are quickly formed, peer pressure builds, sides taken, blame game indulged in, impulsive actions taken, all of which compounds the already facing psychological stress.

So why does it all happen? Why does a person, who until yesterday was a dear friend, a confidante, an associate, suddenly turn hostile, unresponsive, or simply cold? Why does the exchange of thoughts, feelings, messages, stop or turn ugly? Why do you get blocked both from facebook and life? Why does the source of joy turn into a source of pain?

The answers are not easy. But definitely they are not trivial either. One could philosophically say that it is owing to the expectation we have from a person, or the attachment we build with one, which results in the hurt when they move away and out of our lives. But it could also be that you suddenly do not feature in the priority list of the individual; or that other stressors in their lives push them away from you. Sadly many a times, the estrangement is stark, and no reason can be safely concluded for it. However another major reason for such estrangements is misunderstanding.

Is there a way out of such situation? The foremost answer could be insulation. We tend to resort to it normally or are tempted to resort to it. But that is not a prudent solution. Building walls only makes us more emotionless. It will affect our state of mind and interaction with everyone around. So what is the way out?

Possibly, and it is easier said than done, to attain a state of detachment through attachment. That ability to let a person go, imagining well that our friends presence in our lives is impermanent, that your friends’ priority lists might not align with yours, or if you can de link your happiness from the presence of your friends in your lives one will not be hurt from the sudden or gradual disenchantment. It does not mean that one doesn’t give ones cent percent to a relationship, of friendship or otherwise; one certainly needs to, giving your best makes you human after all.

Ability to let go is not an easy attribute, but a necessary one. It comes in handy and the more you do it with ease the lesser it will adversely affect you. There is beauty in letting go, forgive more, forget more, and move on. It frees you and the person you let go. Do not stay back in the pleasurable moments, the moment that is lost, is lost forever. Do not make happy memories of the past a benchmark to gauge the hurt at present. Let go, it can be liberating.

Rules and Pragmatism

I forgot the ticket back home. In the offing was a whirlwind tour home, couple of thousand kilometers away, stopover at in-laws and a function to organize, all in four days’ time. And amidst the melee, the Karnataka State Road Tourism Corporation (KSRTC) bus ticket booked for the return journey from Bangalore to Mangalore was forgotten and it lay safe on the topmost shelf of the bedroom.

I realized it while I was at home and hence could do nothing about it. I called my colleague to find out if a duplicate ticket could be issued. After inquiry he got me the PNR number and the ticket number. Owing to reaching Bangalore late in the evening, all effort to search for a KSRTC counter which would issue a duplicate ticket failed. The following morning the bus was scheduled at 11 am. We reached the bus stand by 9:30 to discover at the KSRTC office that duplicate ticket can only be issued 2 hours prior to the journey after paying 25% of ticket fee as fine.

Now comes the interesting part. The ‘job sheet’ that the bus conductor carried had our seats written against our names along with my mobile number. Despite my plea to produce photo identity proving it was indeed me, he would not oblige to let us in. That followed contacting all and sundry officials of KSRTC to explain the case. A few were willing to help, others not. The scene was gradually turning tense and hostile and at some point futile.

Right about then, I received a text message, DM-KSRTC, intimating about the journey and giving the phone number of conductor thereon. I was hopeful that would clinch my case, as a mere physical paper ticket could not surpass all the other evidences suggesting my proof of travel and identity. But alas, the bus conductor, his superior were not ready to budge.

The solution according to them. Buy a new ticket which he would issue for the same seat numbers and cancel the previous. Tricky part that I discovered later – there is no refund after the travel is made. Loss to me – twice the ticket cost! I cursed myself for not booking e-ticket, which I have been doing for all other travels since years now.

A sum of 1500 is not a small amount, but even if it were, paying the ticket cost again just because you are not carrying the ticket is ridiculous. The name, contact number on job sheet, the message from KSRTC, and presence of photo identity must have been enough to allow us to make the journey. But the rules overtook.

At this point it may be debated that the rule should be followed tooth and nail. That it doesn’t matter if the ticket cost had to be paid twice. But what about being pragmatic? At the face of enough evidence should the piece of paper supersede the human being present there, along with two sets of evidence for his travel?

I found the ticket after returning back home, carried it in pocket for lodging a complain; and after a day dumped it in a dustbin; for I knew the rule would prevail.