Thursday, April 18, 2013

Are you Successful?

Hey, have you been to the Bahamas for vacation or the exotic Spain or for that matter a spring break trip to London? Well if not vacation, has your job taken you to an on-site posting in the US of A or Germany or China or maybe Dubai? Are you pursuing PhD or a MS degree in universities in America or Singapore? Do you have a swanky office; do you dine at costly restaurants every other weekend, or do wear dress and suits that places you right in the vogue? Also are you in a physical shape that is depicted in the magazines on the fitness section? Well if you do, any of the above, and also have photos of such to be posted on facebook, or shared on twitter, then you can be safely classified as 'successful'.

Definitions of success have always been outlandish and above the normal; it is to set someone different from the crowd, but the contemporary context has changed significantly. With globalisation in past decades, increasing buying power, commoditisation of technologies and showcasing phenomenon of social media, the definitions of success and social standings have become narrower, stricter and myopic.

And these are largely determining the way relationships and friendships are getting shaped. The distinctions between the have and have not’s is on the rise. It is however ironic that this differentiation is amongst the people whose lives are considerably better financially and resourcefully (groups within group). You are likely to attract friends only if you are successful according to others perception.

At this point one may wonder about the logic of this phenomenon; that it is at the root of human nature. Humans tend to form groups based on similarities, identical features or any other commonality. Hence is it not natural again for people to gel with their ilk? Sure it is, but with these groups becoming increasingly smaller and exclusive, the societal dynamics are changing and in fact straining.

Hence you may be losing friends because you have not caught the success train, and you may be finding those friends in other exclusive friends clubs, thanks to social networks which serve as flaunting mediums. What is such a response likely to do with the morale or emotions of a person? No points for guessing. It is likely that by now you, if you have ever experienced this phenomenon, are ticking on those people who have ditched you.

Success is a relative term. It is becoming increasingly materialistic with time. It has always been. True success is more a mental phenomenon than. Psychological and spiritual success is what every so-called-successful people crave for. With people increasingly developing narrower terms and vision for success, ambition, awesomeness, greatness, dynamics of relations are changing. Take time to think for yourself who are those people who you value or who value you. Their success on social media, their oomph factor, their jobs, their status, should not be reasons for you to choose them as your friends.



  1. There is a tradeoff for everything. One cannot be successful in all dimension. Yes, globalization has made its impact in form of fancy dreams, but caution should be adapted while thinking about an aim.

    1. trade off is when we place our priorities in a compromising nature. Fancy dreams as you succinctly put it, is the order of the day!!

  2. An ideal definition of success is whether you are happy or not. And only you can determine that. The problem today is, everyone wears a facade. You will see pics of only foreign locales and "picture perfect" photos on fb! Majority of the people compare themselves with that facade and end up running after the things that will make their facade as pretty as others. Bottom line is, if you are happy spending 12 hours at work, earning half a million a year and spend 6 hours with your family, you are successful. If you are spending 12 hours with your family but crib about not earning enough, you are not successful. So its best to chose your own definition of success and not a 'facebook' determined one and tailor your goals around it.

    1. that has been a very precise and apt comment! very well put. It is that facade about which little awareness needs to be created. not so as to change people but just to create awareness about the non 'picture perfect' world that exists, so that once (and it always does) the rosy picture shatters anytime in life, people can deal and cope with it better.


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