Problem with ‘I’
The first sentence took quite some time and quite many backspace hits to finally take form. The doubt was with the ‘I’. Whether to ‘I’ or not to ‘I’. That poses a fundamental problem in writing I feel. For the writer is aware of the connotations that the letter will have with the content of the written piece. It again goes back to that fundamental question that bogs many of us for most part of our lives ‘What will someone think about me’. Lot of effort is spent in molding ourselves, in acting, in pretending so that one will receive that very important ‘acceptance’. Perhaps that is what a social animal in a society is. But then no society gave its animals the wings to soar high.
Problem with ‘I’ again
Most conflicts happen because one takes oneself too seriously. It is imperative that one must conduct oneself in a certain manner so that she is taken seriously, else people will make a doormat of you, you will be a walkover and ultimately you will be in pain for it. This is precisely the thought one grows up with. Nothing wrong with that. But there is a lacunae there, of being taught or acquired the fact that one cannot always be serious especially about herself, all the time. To brush matters not worthy of your attention and concentration needs to be inculcated. When in doubt just remember what magnitude of a spec you are in the entire universe.
Again, a problem with ‘I’
I, me, mine, is all fine. There is a problem with what after ‘I’ is. Not ‘J’. A great part of our lives, a great deal of what we do, is for posterity. We are very fond of the ‘L’ word. Legacy. Everyone wants to leave behind a big one, one that will stand the test of time, one that will be there when the Himalayas become sea again, when humans will finally be able to time travel. Legacy is thus built brick by brick. Again no harm with that, but a fundamental question remains. After one has died, why does one want oneself to be remembered? How is that going to satisfy the dead? Or maybe, these are for afterlife believers. Either way, it’s an extension of ego that refuses to die with the body, it wishes to be an everlasting fragrance.
Lastly, the missing ‘I’
Individuals are rising, individuals are demolished. While a strange independence stemming out of lack of human interactions, keeping faith, trusting is on a rise, in a parallel world individuals are getting masked behind groups and thereby losing themselves. Single occupancy hostel rooms are requested for and preferred, faceless twitter trolls bully and puncture many self-esteems. Both are unhealthy. Younger kids are uncomfortable to make conversations, face to face chats abruptly ends. The refuge for another set is behind the screen, where identities can be forged, a second life can be lived. The ‘I’ is missing in an individual. It either has hypertrophied or has become too miniature for sustenance.