Letter to Aindri on her 10th birthday

 Dearest jhia,

You are 10!

Reflecting on the chaotic, tense, on the tenterhooks morning that this day was a decade back, it seems like a long way; and yet it seems just like yesterday. The heaviness of having to handle a 1185 grams premature child made 10 years look eons away back then. But, here we are, today, on yet another milestone, of you having made 10 rounds around the sun!

Your constant, year long, infective (irritating too), effervescent enthusiasm for your birthday continues into this year as well. And it is a lovely thing to have. Never let it go. Never let the cynicisms of growing older take away from you this keenness, this desire, this self love.

The year began as usual for us on your 9th birthday; and this time Jema, Jepa were with us. We decided to go a little big this time and organized your birthday at Fortune Inn Valley View. The regular, dear friends were invited and everyone turned up - about 40 of them. The highlight, your birthday cake, as per your demand (and you are making a lot of them now) was a mermaid cake. Your mother baked a stunning looking and delicious tasting one. She spent the whole morning making the layered cake, with fondant work, a colorful one, which wowed everyone in the evening. You were happy for your friends had come in large numbers and all of you got a lot of space to play.

Jepa had his knee surgery after a few days and was recuperating at home for a long time. You were a good kid helping with stuff. Later in the same month, we went to Benaras to attend Shyamsundar mama's wedding. North of India in the chilling cold was a first for you. It was excruciatingly cold for us, but we had fun nevertheless. You met a lot of people, ad so did I, and for the first time in all these years, a lot of people from your mother's side. We went to the Kashi Vishwanath temple in wee hours, had kachori sabzi, malaiyo, etc. It was a fun trip.

After we got back, you fell ill. There was fever and it got exacerbated on taking the antibiotics. We were worried, you were running very high fever. It turned out you are allergic to sulfa antibiotics. This is something you need to remember going forward though. Well, March came and I got busy with Utsav as usual. But by now we had planned our second Europe trip.

This time the plan was to visit the Scandinavian countries. As usual, the planning had followed several weeks. We flew through Munich, Germany this time. The snow clad Alps as we descended to Munich was a sight to behold. We went to Stockholm then. This time we had decided to spend more time with family in Stockholm compared to the previous edition in 2022. 

The unique thing that was planned by Badda and Meshu was to have a cruise tour. We went to the beautiful capital of Estonia, Tallin. You had in fact, as preparation, learnt a song on Estonia. The cruise was interesting. Later we went to the beautiful Norway. First, we went to the capital Oslo and then to the breathtaking Bergen. The Oslo-Bergen train was a picturesque one - we saw so much snow for the first time. From Bergen we flew to Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark. Museums, palaces, canal tour - it was fun. Earlier in Skansen in Stockholm, where you enjoyed a lot, you had a new shoe which was not very comfortable and you had twisted your foot. That was an irritant throughout the rest of the trip.

The trip was loaded with good food, be it the delectable waffle just below the apartment or lunch at the Belgian restaurant in Tallin, or the fresh blueberries & strawberries. You needed Indian food, so did I, once in a while and we even had Biriyani from the Indian restaurant at Citybox Bergen. You purchased, was gifted, your requirement of stationery, etc, and thus ended the Europe trip.

We drove to Goa, another first, during the Independence Day holidays. We stayed at South Goa and it was a wonderful time - with a majority of time spent in the swimming pool, which you don't seem to get enough of. We went to Mumbai for Diwali and spent 3 days there. Nani ma went with us and we had fun visiting Filmcity there. We went to Odisha in December, with you missing classes even, but it was a fun trip. We went to Puri and you will remember the jostling for darshan there for quite some time to come. We went to Nandankanan where I guess seeing the White tiger, Melanistic Tiger, Royal Bengal Tiger were highlights. We spent a lot of time with Reet & Ronil kaka.

This year we repeated your MRI brain and EEG which you were very cooperative undergoing. Your many years of partner, Sanofi suddenly stopped production of Valparin and it was a tense few weeks before we switched to the pink color, and sweeter version by Abbott. You still aren't keen on takin tablets.

This year you continued watching increasing number of movies, thanks to Netflix & Prime. You are still watching, for the thousandth time, Bheem, Shin Chan, etc. Your love for potato chips & spicy food continue unabated. This year saw new people coming into our lives. Tingiya's kid, who you have named Rishu was born in September. You secured position in school in public speaking. 

The world in the past year has only been crazy. The Israel Palestine conflict has been continuing with Israel killing a lot of Palestinians. The US saw a regime change with Donald Trump coming back to power. The Russia-Ukraine war is still continuing. South Korea had an attempted coup. 

The use of Artificial Intelligence has been on a rise. You are now familiar with what is called as ChatGPT. This is a generative AI. There are scores more and they are growing each day, getting incorporated into everything. In a few years time, by the time you are in higher education, AI would have matured a lot. It may take various shapes, we don't know yet. It may replace people in jobs, it will change the nature of jobs, it will add new dimension to different professions. The robot revolution is also gaining pace and so is space exploration, thanks to SpaceX and other private companies.

You are much more mature this year. Your sense of humor is very nice, unlike mine, which is non existent. Your passion for singing continues (you met Kavita Krishnamurty outside visa office in Bangalore). You conversations with friends is very interesting and there is this shadow of teenage which is falling forward I see.

Ten years always seemed very far off. But here we are. It feels like an achievement almost.

But then, the journey of parents is forever.

We love you the most, jhia.

Papa

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Facets of Facebook



     

   ‘Hey Rikoo (my nickname), did you receive the friend request I had sent you?’ asked my mother’s maternal uncle, whom I met a few days back after a decade or so. ‘We have seen all your photos, the place you are in is so beautiful’ told another couple of relatives, the same evening, whom I fail to remember when I had last seen. ‘Did you see the photos of my grandchild? She was born just last month’ Another question to which I mumbled a faint yes. And all the while these questions, these statements, kept churning a thought process.

        All right, on the exterior of it the above statements might not seem strange. But a closer look will bring out the theme, which clearly is where the ‘friend request’ was sent and where the ‘photos’ were viewed – facebook! You must be wondering what is so strange about it now! Yes it doesn’t seem strange to us anymore. Yes for millions of people across the world who have access to internet and are part of it, facebook has become a part of life, small or large. It is like the ring which was new once and after having worn for so long on the finger has become a part of you.

         Life never remained the same after ‘social networking’ took the world not by storm but slowly and steadily. Just like in the process of building aircrafts, after many failed attempts, smaller projects and boisterous ideas that bombed, social networking found its first jumbo jet flying high in the sky with flair – the facebook. The inroad it has made into our lives is remarkable. Whether it makes more and more people socially inclusive or fosters exclusivity in children, whether it benefits us or troubles us, whether we are attaching to more people electronically and detaching personally are just a few questions that are associated with the ascent of facebook.

        ‘The web is what you make if it’, the catch line in the Google advertisement is largely true, but how much are we enslaved by it rather than us controlling it needs to be pondered upon. With the delivery of a child captured and posted on FB (I am sure it doesn’t sound Greek now), the process of growing up is shared with friends and family. Of course is a nicety. Your heart fills with warm emotions seeing the child of your friend or relative living far away. Classroom discussions in school is now hovering around ‘hey are you on FB?’, ‘My mom told no FB till I am in high school’, ‘Ha, you know what my brother already opened an account for me’ and so on and so forth.

        Come to teenagers, now this is where we are talking about real issues regarding FB. As much as teenagers connect on FB, equally is stalking (though we in India barely understand the term and what it encompasses), meeting random people (sure is a benefit of FB people claim), unwarranted comments, and many such sour experiences fostered. Such is the merit of this question ‘How much of information to share?’ that it could well be another topic of discussion. The idea that what you do electronically is not directly harmful encourages people to push it to limits but that it might have repercussions otherwise is what needs to be understood.

       FB is truly a society. It is a matchmaker. Many people are getting married having ‘met’ on FB. FB provides fodder for gossip. ‘Hey did you see what footwear was she wearing in that photo’ ‘Which one?’ ‘The one in the album titled ‘Trip to US – Part 1’. No sooner that one leaves for somewhere photos starting from airport, aircraft, my bag, and zillions of such start steaming if not live, almost so, on your ‘notification’ pages. Your office work, its nuances are all on FB for the world to see, whether they like it or not. FB has provided a never before platform for showcasing your talent, your trips, your relatives, your skills, or let us call it showcasing your life.

         The other day my sister told me about her ‘friends’ on FB who happened to be non-friends in the classroom. Is it because of a horde for ‘Hey I have more people on my FB friend list than you’? Workplaces beginning from clinical laboratory to multinational software firms are swarming with people whose break from work every fifteen minutes is logging on to FB to check for ‘Recent Activity’. Harmless on the exterior again but what is it doing to our attention spans? Something lame like ‘I am brushing my teeth’, to something necessary like ‘ I support anti corruption’ to something potentially dangerous like’ I am going to kill so-and-so’, to something very concerning like ‘I am so depressed’ and anything and everything that you can think of is up as ‘status message’. Where should we draw the line between sharing information and becoming vulnerable?

        Various aspects of our lives are now up on facebook. Its infiltration into many lives is pretty complete. Increasing privacy settings are being incorporated to make it closer to a real social setting. FB has in the past few years changed things forever. Birth and death are reported as ‘posts’ today. This electronic entrenchment is where people express happiness and grief and share host of other emotions. Millions today live a second life on FB. The incorporation of Facebook has enriched many aspects of our lives today, precisely the reason for its acceptance, but the process will be meaningful and sustainable only when it is carried out with maturity, greater understanding and responsibility.