Letter to Aindri on her 3rd birthday

My dear Chimpu,

You are 3 years old now. 

This past year can be called as the ‘year of the gab’. Yes, you started talking and you did talk a lot of it, and along with it many scores of things that melts heart.

Hindi, Odia, English and Kannanda, in the decreasing order were what you learnt and spoke. Your love for songs continued unabated. You sang more, sang better I must admit and sang variety. However it was dance with which you entertained us. 

The year 2017 (and I think being a 2^nd Jan kid, it will be easy to keep a tab of the year easily) began fine with your birthday which was well attended and was a nice little function. Luckily the gifts you received are mostly intact after a year. You have not been, until now, the kid who smashes things. The operative phrase there is until now.

We made a quick trip to Goa in the last week of March and as it always is, we were mighty apprehensive about you and travel. But it was a good road trip by Biju mamu’s car. Well, how much your parents love Goa came to the fore when we repeated the trip, this time by train, in November. The second time around we were a little relaxed and let you play in the pool from where you refused to come. Trisha nani and Hitesh fufaa also made a visit then and met us.

The past year will also be marked by another special event. You started going to school. Having decided to send you to a small school, Minions, close by to home, we were happy that you were happy to go there. But that lasted just for a couple of days. You were in no mood to go there. Now since 2^nd of December you have been going to Sonia play school and continuing your routine of crying for an hour in total! It is distressing for us; yet, the routine has to be set. So, sorry if you feel we have been cruel.

You have grown taller, almost reaching my waist in this year. Your food time tantrums are on a rise. Given the premature baby that you are, I am wondering if you are picking these naughty habits a little late! But your love for shawarma from Dishes, American Onion and Cheese potato chips, donuts from Crave, they are all fine. Which makes me think, you are becoming a bit like your father, being fastidious about food?

Your sleeping habits continued to keep us up for a large part of the year but they were better than the previous year. When your mother had to be admitted for inter vertebral disc prolapse (don’t worry about the jargon) you acted very mature by going alone with me, letting me put you to sleep, give you food, bathe you, etc. The way you spent the evening with your friend Tingia when we had to go to emergency will always be remembered by us.

The world in 2017 is a strange place. You will be easily bored to learn about the society, the politics, the geopolitics, that is shaping the world but at some point in your life you will perhaps understand it all. As a parent, I hope humankind keeps striving to make the world a better place for kids like you for when you grow up you should inhabit a place that is befitting for the energy, the enthusiasm, the vibrancy of your youth.

Well, the year had two set of visits from Jema and jepa and nanu and nani ma. It is now clear that people visiting us and your becoming naughty are interrelated. They all love you a lot, much more than what you can think. 

Again, there were plenty of times this past year when we thought if we were doing the parenting act fine. I thought I was being upset with you when you would throw a thing, not eat, not listen, and it was much more than before. If I have been unreasonable (and I am sure defying what impression a tiny tot like you give, you kids understand all that) then I am apologetic. 

We are all set for your birthday. Hoping all things good come your way this year and you have the courage to fight the not-so-good..

Love you loads!

Papa

Stench on our Skin

Image source: http://www.hindustantimes.com/photos/india/the-stinking-heaps-of-ghazipur-landfill-site/photo-EPOZjmghYwaqgrbKznFmSI.html

Men, often a few young boys,

Women, rare yet likely,

Huddled for a conversation

Like we do on a mound

Green grass covered

In the park.

But these men, boys, women

Are on a huge heap

Of stench emanating garbage.

Each morning, on trucks, lorries

Door to door

Apartment to apartment

Restaurant to restaurant

Picking up filth

Vomit-inducing rubbish

With bare hands

Without masks or gumboots

Displaying a normalcy

That isn’t.

Those big blue bins

With leftover food

Or used sanitary pads

With soiled diapers, or wet hair

Or when color codes we brazenly disregard

And throw that syringe, a razor

They touch these, it pierces them

But we play the ignoring game well

Pretending well

The non-existence of these humans.

Questions of caste

Of their subsistence

Unanswered yet known

Are relegated to the hind

Where cemented by conditioning

They pass along generations

And breed kids oblivious to

The strife of these men, boys and women.

The forms that resemble us

In cloak of flesh and bones

But on their skin is smeared

That invisible stench

Which no soap can wipe

And a part of the soul

Amidst it all is lost

And part of the mind

Numbed by cheap alcohol

Or that thinner

Caring no more to think

Rag-pickers, garbage collectors, koodawala

And all the hues in between

Part-dead, part-living

Cleaning our filth

Thought of, treated & thrashed as filth

These men, boys, women

Are on a huge heap

Of stench emanating garbage

Huddled for a conversation

Like we do on a mound

Green grass covered

In the park.

The Cost of Standing Up

 Image source: timesnownews.com

Electronic media was recently abuzz with an incident from Bhopal where a biker protested the driving of a SUV on the wrong side of the road by blocking its path with his bike. The footage captured on CCTV camera then goes on to show how the car driver thrashes the biker. A range of reaction poured towards this incident ranging from outrage against the wrong doer to appreciation for the young man. While it is heartening to see the courage of one person, it is often faced with the cost of standing up against crimes, small and big, that deters the average Indian.

One thing that struck me about the incident was the routine nature of it. A car coming from the wrong side of the road is dangerous, it leads to traffic chaos and accidents, yet it is one of the most common forms of violation that happens in front of us, and daily. An auto-rickshaw with 6 passengers, a forceful passenger in railway compartment, shopkeeper charging Rs 2 extra as 'cooling charge', etc are every day affair which when placed on a continuum of lawlessness might fall in the lower rungs yet are unlawful.

What prevents people to be that guy on the bike?

Firstly, who wants trouble?
The guy who stood up to the SUV owner went to the police station. Police has filed a FIR against the car driver. So long after the viral nature of the post is over, the guy has to go to police station for testimony, etc. This, assuming that police cooperates in the investigation and does its job diligently.

Secondly, it is not my job.
The human mind works very well to gauge a rough cost vs benefit. When an extra Rs 2 on milk packet is weighed against quarreling with the shopkeeper, writing to appropriate grievance cell and following it up, it is obvious which one is weighted more. it happens all the time in all situations and especially in those that requires things to be done while going out of ones way.

Thirdly, what if there is repercussion?
We, who consumed that video and all the drama and text along with it, do not know how well connected that SUV owner is. It is not for nothing that Bollywood has shown criminals coming back to create trouble for the whistleblower. What is happening to scores of whistleblowers in the country is a testimony to the fact how unsafe activism can be.

Fourthly, who will listen to me?
While one might know that RTO/Police/Traffic Police has to be complained against an errant auto driver, a vast majority might not know, in the physical absence of them, of how to do it. In the Indian quagmire of authorities, bodies, and more authorities and more bodies, one is barely aware of proper channels of lodging complains and thereby creating huge barriers.

Policing every part is not feasible, technology cannot be all encompassing and is often costly, incentives to be lawful are less and risk of punitive action against crime is low. All this makes for a heady mix where we average Indians pass off small unlawful activities like driving on wrong side of the road as innocuous and 'adjust' to these risks and discomfort.

That is why the Bhopal guy makes news.