About the 'I'

Problem with ‘I’

The first sentence took quite some time and quite many backspace hits to finally take form. The doubt was with the ‘I’. Whether to ‘I’ or not to ‘I’. That poses a fundamental problem in writing I feel. For the writer is aware of the connotations that the letter will have with the content of the written piece. It again goes back to that fundamental question that bogs many of us for most part of our lives ‘What will someone think about me’. Lot of effort is spent in molding ourselves, in acting, in pretending so that one will receive that very important ‘acceptance’. Perhaps that is what a social animal in a society is. But then no society gave its animals the wings to soar high.

Problem with ‘I’ again

Most conflicts happen because one takes oneself too seriously. It is imperative that one must conduct oneself in a certain manner so that she is taken seriously, else people will make a doormat of you, you will be a walkover and ultimately you will be in pain for it. This is precisely the thought one grows up with. Nothing wrong with that. But there is a lacunae there, of being taught or acquired the fact that one cannot always be serious especially about herself, all the time. To brush matters not worthy of your attention and concentration needs to be inculcated. When in doubt just remember what magnitude of a spec you are in the entire universe.

Again, a problem with ‘I’

I, me, mine, is all fine. There is a problem with what after ‘I’ is. Not ‘J’. A great part of our lives, a great deal of what we do, is for posterity. We are very fond of the ‘L’ word. Legacy. Everyone wants to leave behind a big one, one that will stand the test of time, one that will be there when the Himalayas become sea again, when humans will finally be able to time travel. Legacy is thus built brick by brick. Again no harm with that, but a fundamental question remains. After one has died, why does one want oneself to be remembered? How is that going to satisfy the dead? Or maybe, these are for afterlife believers. Either way, it’s an extension of ego that refuses to die with the body, it wishes to be an everlasting fragrance.

Lastly, the missing ‘I’

Individuals are rising, individuals are demolished. While a strange independence stemming out of lack of human interactions, keeping faith, trusting is on a rise, in a parallel world individuals are getting masked behind groups and thereby losing themselves. Single occupancy hostel rooms are requested for and preferred, faceless twitter trolls bully and puncture many self-esteems. Both are unhealthy. Younger kids are uncomfortable to make conversations, face to face chats abruptly ends. The refuge for another set is behind the screen, where identities can be forged, a second life can be lived. The ‘I’ is missing in an individual. It either has hypertrophied or has become too miniature for sustenance.

Safer Internet Day 2014

11th February (was) is being celebrated as Safer Internet Day. It must be of great significance to all of us, integral part of whose lives revolve around internet. From office to personal lives, internet has become a mainstay, with exception of those individuals who have vowed not to be dirtied by this technology. Thus our lives or our friends’ and relatives’ lives are connected, to a small or large extent, to the internet. For us and for all of them, this day should bear some significance. In a world where being on the internet, as Edward Snowden would want us to believe, is like living an open-to-all life, we need to reflect on our e-presence.

What is safe internet? If you are thinking it is about watching prohibited material, then it forms only a small section of it. Incidences of profiles being hacked and used for illegal purposes, photographs being morphed, extortions being carried out, bullying leading to suicides have risen with the rise in penetration of internet to nook and corners of the world. These incidences, which could baffle you and appear foolhardy of the people affected while reading in the morning newspaper, might cause great distress if happens to you or someone you care for.

School going children form a very vulnerable section which could fall prey to unsafe internet. The joy of discovering newer features of this technology, and scant regard for the advisories leads them to a world where bullying in various forms takes place. Innocuous comments on looks, weight, etc., can cause extreme distress to the innocent mind. It could scar them like no other. It is thus imperative for parents to handle internet usage of young children carefully. A total ban and total freedom can be disastrous. Gloating over how tech-savvy their children are is often observed. It must be dealt with caution. It must be borne in mind that children affected by cyber bullying needing psychological counseling is on a steep rise.

Adults are no less vulnerable to cyber bullying. Engaging with thousands of unknown people on internet carries the advantages of being connected yet being exposed to all their likes and dislikes, which could take a toll on ones emotions. All it takes is one click to lead you into a spiral of unwanted time on the internet. Your professional and personal life all stands liable to be commented upon and critically. Religious beliefs are liable to be challenged, slanderous and defamatory comments made, your views refuted and abused, and all of it without you realising could seep into your personal lives, making you irritable, defensive, aggressive, introvert or harbour any such radical behaviour.

The older people who have been brought to this world of internet only possibly a few years back might find it strange to deal with unsafe internet. A lack of knowledge of filters and ‘settings’ which are hidden in the fine print, often causes unhindered access for others which can be misutilized. It is imperative for the younger generation to them be aware of the possibilities of falling prey to many such traps and make their parents and elderly aware of the same.

Banking and financial fraud is on a rise and is attributed to unsafe internet practices. Search strings used unwisely leading to pornography or other unwanted material is common. Social networking leading to defamatory content is increasingly happening. It is time parents educate their children and themselves. It is time we read the fine print to safety-nets available. It is time we prepare ourselves to deal with an unsafe internet world out there. We all need to be smart and alert in using internet if we wish for a peaceful and meaningful interaction.

(This article appeared on Manipalblog on 11th February)